Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
