NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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