what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Randomize
