Me. At least after what I've been through.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
