Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Even my vagina gasped.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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