Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
