We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
