Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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