literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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