I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
