Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize