she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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