also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
