Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Just puked most of my soul out..
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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