i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
