every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
