Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
