she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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