oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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