Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
