I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
