I cockslap morals
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
