did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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