Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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