My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
