Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
it's like heaven, but drunker
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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