I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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