I seem to have left my pride at pride
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
be right there i have to get my cape
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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