You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize
