you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
