Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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