this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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