I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
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And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
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Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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