My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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