i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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