Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
