so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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