im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
