I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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