if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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