I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
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Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
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you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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