I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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