I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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