Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."

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(937): View more from Ohio

Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.

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(520): View more from Arizona

he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it

(987): View more from

im ashamed your my cousin

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(732): View more from New Jersey

I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.

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(714): View more from California

He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher

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(204): View more from Manitoba

So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.

(1-204): View more from Manitoba

You would...

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit

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(317): View more from Indiana

We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies

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