Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(972): View more from Texas

i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.

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(573): View more from Missouri

A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.

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(616): View more from Michigan

the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.

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(616): View more from Michigan

You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.

Fav 9 5570 2228
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Read it at the TFLN blog
(303): View more from Colorado

Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.

Fav 9 4388 1002
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(604): View more from British Columbia

It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.

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(540): View more from Virginia

Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!

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(312): View more from Illinois

I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.

Fav 1 155 78
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