I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
well you can't waste a boner
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
