ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
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We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
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Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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