I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake