Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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