So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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