He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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