If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
