but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
