Swine flu. Run for my life!
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize