I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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