he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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