It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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