I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
