I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
