I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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