It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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