i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
