Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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