Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
