listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
