You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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