I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I FOUND THE LEGS
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
