ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
