Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
