Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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