hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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