Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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